Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Baby u r....
my sunny sky
my favorite high
my sweetest gift
my emotional lift
my best friend
until the end
my destination
my inspiration
my shining light
my day n night
my heart healer
my anger chiller
my pain reliever
my spring fever
my first love
my gift from above
my gem so rare
my answered prayer
my heart n soul
my life made whole
my morning sun
my evening fun
my energizer
my tranquilizer
my source of laughter
my everafter
my burning fire
my heart's desire
my soulmate
my true fate
my summer rain
my end of pain
my winter sunshine
till the end of time...I LOVE U
(Not an original....found it in a book...)
(Not an original....found it in a book...)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
5 Things To Learn Before I Die
Have to learn how to forgive.
Have to learn how to forget the past.
Have to learn to let go of all the dreams that didn’t come true.
Have to learn to trust again
Have to learn to move on
Friday, November 7, 2008
Th countdown has fuckin began... Just 30 more fuckin days and then I fuckin will be heading back home... To my fuckin calcutta... why the fuck do I love that fuckin place so much... its just that the fuckin sky seems so much bluer there...The fuckin sun so much more tolerable...the fuckin people so much more known... the fuckin pain so much more bearable...
This post is a fuckin disgrace..
Plz overlook it
Im not such a fuckin bitch normally
This post is a fuckin disgrace..
Plz overlook it
Im not such a fuckin bitch normally
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
.,.,
Im just desperate... Yeah thats the word for me. otherwise why am i such a hopeless insomniac... When the whole world sleeps, with satisfied smiles on their faces, and when sleep lies heavy on my eyes, why cant i simply close them n drift away? What keeps me awake? Must be those sickeningly sweet memories i left back home...what do i want?? Do I wanna break free of all memories n create new ones.. Or do i wanna keep them, treasure them in my heart forever...isnt that a mystery unworthy of solving...lol...its mysteriously uninteresting...
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
::
How to get rid of this wannabe tag that i have burdened myself with
There must be a secret pathway to Athens...
Even if there isnt...how about Macedonia???
Might even meet Achilles there...or maybe Hercule Poirot
There must be a secret pathway to Athens...
Even if there isnt...how about Macedonia???
Might even meet Achilles there...or maybe Hercule Poirot
Sunday, October 26, 2008
London bridge is falling down
And Im waking up
From this dark slumber
In an even darker chamber
Forgive me, my love
I made love to a purple-haired devil
And he’s still clinging on to me
And he’s still swallowing my heart whole
The heart I thought I would give you
You caress me where he grasped
You kiss me where he bit
You whisper in the ear where he yelled
You love while he lusts
But still I go to him every night
And still I’ll go to him tonight
And let him break our London bridge
Our London bridge of summer evenings
Of maple leaves and long ramblings
Sugar-coated mellow mornings
And gentle love-making
Still I go to him every night
Still I’ll go to him tonight
And the rest of the nights
For the rest of my life
Saturday, October 25, 2008
My pseudo-strength keeps on failing me...
Dunno how much longer I'll be holding on to this facade of being me..
Just remind me how I used to smile coz I've forgotten that as well...
Remind me to hold Daddy's hand next time we'r out together... coz I'm still a clumsy pedestrian
Remind me to snuggle up to Mom when I cant sleep at night...coz I'm still a hopeless insomniac
Remind me to go home
Remind me to feel safe
Remind me to forget me..
Just remind me
Dunno how much longer I'll be holding on to this facade of being me..
Just remind me how I used to smile coz I've forgotten that as well...
Remind me to hold Daddy's hand next time we'r out together... coz I'm still a clumsy pedestrian
Remind me to snuggle up to Mom when I cant sleep at night...coz I'm still a hopeless insomniac
Remind me to go home
Remind me to feel safe
Remind me to forget me..
Just remind me
...
Improbability seems a bigger barrier than impossibilty...
and helplessness is so contagious...
direly need a morale booster
Fuck u losers!!!
and helplessness is so contagious...
direly need a morale booster
Fuck u losers!!!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Dear Blyss
I have always noticed that life has this weird way of screwing one completely and perfectly…here I am, around what…4000km away from home?? And fate aint helping me at all!! I have managed to screw up both my sessionals… there are a million things that I haven’t yet told ma…like shifting back to common room (god knows why, since I’m perfectly sure that its one of the reasons that all my papers fetched single digits), then those amazing marks, then the fact that I haven’t changed my mess.,..So life now is pretty much the biggest mess I have ever encountered and that’s saying something, considering the fact that I have always managed to win the Miss Messy of the Year Award… Then there is my class, which appears uber-cool but sometimes tends towards extreme chilliness due to its entire lack of warmth and friendship… Despite it being 99% filled with guys, none of the losers seem to notice three utterly vulnerable girls sitting in their midst, one of whom is very eager for friendship (pure unadulterated friendship, mind it). Or maybe they have noticed, just don’t have the balls to come up and start a healthy interesting conversation… Jesus knows how I’m gonna manage from next year without even Shilpi nagging beside me all the time… This is one big issue in my life right now.
Then there is this surmounting peer pressure … I mean, dude, is this supposed to be our college life??? Coz if it is then it aint worth all the hype…Honestly school was so much better…we could bunk classes at our own free will…lol…I remember how me, Pinky & Ayo would all three pretend to be ill and go to the sick room and squeeze (all three of us!!) into one of those tiny cots there and would either chat or eavesdrop on the teachers’ conversations going on right next doors in the staff room… and if this happened sometime just before break all sorts of tantalizing aromas used to waft in and we, like the three foodies that we were and always would be, would go like yummmmmmm!!!!!!! Talking about food, how could I miss out those eternal tiffin breaks…25 mins long but we used to stretch them on and on for half n hr at least…of course we hardly would be caught eating our own food in the tiffin break…our stuff was finished the moment we entered the class…and beside there was always the same old “grass is greener on the other side of the fence and choc.cake tastes better from Priyanka’s dabba” wala funda… Oh and of course those chocolate cakes!!! Didn’t they taste the best ever when we three were munching on them, trying to talk with our mouths full of crumbs, and then hurriedly trying to swallow incase the teacher noticed… specially Guhasarkar whom we renamed Hagusarkar (non-bongs will probably be scratching their heads here…keep scratching…I don’t intend to shed any light upon your ignorance!!) Man, wasn’t she a total witch…her wicked glinty eyes and weird crooked teeth and that evil smile with her (ahem!) short yet VERY noticeable stature…scary…simply hated her… Then was the honored Vice Principal of our institute…a.k.a. VP..who for some strange reason was our biology teacher…nobody has yet unraveled the secret as to why was she given the important responsibility of implanting young minds with biological trash… I mean she didn’t even know biology ka B…let alone the remaining alphabets!!! Honestly I knew more than her…but no complaints there..we used to get a much required time off during her period, when she used to read out some one else’s bio notes that she has stolen, from one end of the class, or in other words used to sing us soothing lullabys… I don’t remember being awake in a single class of hers…being the teacher’s favorite has its advantages (courtesy Ratnajit Sir’s tuitions). Then there was our adorable Pritha maam..our chemistry teacher, our saviour in chemistry and what not…thanks to her my 40% attendance miraculously soared up to 85% and nobody knows how!!!! Then there was our physics teacher JB (dunno the full name, blyss) whose voice never even reached the first row, let alone us last-benchers… then Chaaki Maam (our immensely vast beng teacher), whose periods we used to pass in sheer wonderment by staring at her and trying to figure out what could have happened to make the damn woman so bloody fat!!!
“oh when I look back now, the summer seems to last forever
And if I had a choice, oh yeah I’ll always wanna be there
Those were the best days of mah life”
Seriously in the short life that I have lived, those 2yrs were by far the best days of my life…
I have always noticed that life has this weird way of screwing one completely and perfectly…here I am, around what…4000km away from home?? And fate aint helping me at all!! I have managed to screw up both my sessionals… there are a million things that I haven’t yet told ma…like shifting back to common room (god knows why, since I’m perfectly sure that its one of the reasons that all my papers fetched single digits), then those amazing marks, then the fact that I haven’t changed my mess.,..So life now is pretty much the biggest mess I have ever encountered and that’s saying something, considering the fact that I have always managed to win the Miss Messy of the Year Award… Then there is my class, which appears uber-cool but sometimes tends towards extreme chilliness due to its entire lack of warmth and friendship… Despite it being 99% filled with guys, none of the losers seem to notice three utterly vulnerable girls sitting in their midst, one of whom is very eager for friendship (pure unadulterated friendship, mind it). Or maybe they have noticed, just don’t have the balls to come up and start a healthy interesting conversation… Jesus knows how I’m gonna manage from next year without even Shilpi nagging beside me all the time… This is one big issue in my life right now.
Then there is this surmounting peer pressure … I mean, dude, is this supposed to be our college life??? Coz if it is then it aint worth all the hype…Honestly school was so much better…we could bunk classes at our own free will…lol…I remember how me, Pinky & Ayo would all three pretend to be ill and go to the sick room and squeeze (all three of us!!) into one of those tiny cots there and would either chat or eavesdrop on the teachers’ conversations going on right next doors in the staff room… and if this happened sometime just before break all sorts of tantalizing aromas used to waft in and we, like the three foodies that we were and always would be, would go like yummmmmmm!!!!!!! Talking about food, how could I miss out those eternal tiffin breaks…25 mins long but we used to stretch them on and on for half n hr at least…of course we hardly would be caught eating our own food in the tiffin break…our stuff was finished the moment we entered the class…and beside there was always the same old “grass is greener on the other side of the fence and choc.cake tastes better from Priyanka’s dabba” wala funda… Oh and of course those chocolate cakes!!! Didn’t they taste the best ever when we three were munching on them, trying to talk with our mouths full of crumbs, and then hurriedly trying to swallow incase the teacher noticed… specially Guhasarkar whom we renamed Hagusarkar (non-bongs will probably be scratching their heads here…keep scratching…I don’t intend to shed any light upon your ignorance!!) Man, wasn’t she a total witch…her wicked glinty eyes and weird crooked teeth and that evil smile with her (ahem!) short yet VERY noticeable stature…scary…simply hated her… Then was the honored Vice Principal of our institute…a.k.a. VP..who for some strange reason was our biology teacher…nobody has yet unraveled the secret as to why was she given the important responsibility of implanting young minds with biological trash… I mean she didn’t even know biology ka B…let alone the remaining alphabets!!! Honestly I knew more than her…but no complaints there..we used to get a much required time off during her period, when she used to read out some one else’s bio notes that she has stolen, from one end of the class, or in other words used to sing us soothing lullabys… I don’t remember being awake in a single class of hers…being the teacher’s favorite has its advantages (courtesy Ratnajit Sir’s tuitions). Then there was our adorable Pritha maam..our chemistry teacher, our saviour in chemistry and what not…thanks to her my 40% attendance miraculously soared up to 85% and nobody knows how!!!! Then there was our physics teacher JB (dunno the full name, blyss) whose voice never even reached the first row, let alone us last-benchers… then Chaaki Maam (our immensely vast beng teacher), whose periods we used to pass in sheer wonderment by staring at her and trying to figure out what could have happened to make the damn woman so bloody fat!!!
“oh when I look back now, the summer seems to last forever
And if I had a choice, oh yeah I’ll always wanna be there
Those were the best days of mah life”
Seriously in the short life that I have lived, those 2yrs were by far the best days of my life…
Monday, October 13, 2008
My Betrayal
As the night grows slimmer; in a distant land
Someone laughs
Someone drains the last drop
Someone takes the last puff
But nobody stops
For a lonesome memory...
Settled milestones away
So far from present
Still a part of it somehow
Stubborn memory
“Let go off me”
There’s no place
No place for you here
No shoulder for you to cry upon
No hand to wipe your salty tears
So fly away now
And don’t whisper in my ears
Don’t trickle out of my eyes and
Don’t pour down my cheeks
Don’t call my name now
Because I’m yet to forgive you
Don’t jerk me awake
From your betrayal
Don’t ask for forgiveness
Hating you is a part of me now
Don’t look at me with tear-laden eyes
Might not be able to stop this time
Don’t fold your hands before me now
It’s too late to go back
Back to the golden dream-house
Now just a pile of bricks
Some grains of sand
Few stone chips….
I’ve amputated your love
Don’t want the stain
Hating you is a part of me now
Hating you is a part of me now
Someone laughs
Someone drains the last drop
Someone takes the last puff
But nobody stops
For a lonesome memory...
Settled milestones away
So far from present
Still a part of it somehow
Stubborn memory
“Let go off me”
There’s no place
No place for you here
No shoulder for you to cry upon
No hand to wipe your salty tears
So fly away now
And don’t whisper in my ears
Don’t trickle out of my eyes and
Don’t pour down my cheeks
Don’t call my name now
Because I’m yet to forgive you
Don’t jerk me awake
From your betrayal
Don’t ask for forgiveness
Hating you is a part of me now
Don’t look at me with tear-laden eyes
Might not be able to stop this time
Don’t fold your hands before me now
It’s too late to go back
Back to the golden dream-house
Now just a pile of bricks
Some grains of sand
Few stone chips….
I’ve amputated your love
Don’t want the stain
Hating you is a part of me now
Hating you is a part of me now
Thursday, October 9, 2008
My Platinum Hell
Unfaithful
I was; on the doorstep of adolescence
And I cracked our crystal vase.
As I flipped the yellowed pages
Of some tear-blurred ancient novel,
Unread, disliked, thrust away
In some dark dusty corner
Of the shady bookshelf;
Unloved
Did you feel my love?
When I in my cruel bitterness
Shoved you out, from my mind,
From my heart, finally from my memories…
The bitter mornings sat and drank the lees;
Drained its cup to the last wet drop,
Till there remained nothing left to lick
Other than the empty white cup-
The empty hollow shell
Of my life, once a hell-
My hell, of glittery nights, sleepless in my bed;
My hell of drowsy hangovers, of sarcastic rosy threats;
My dark shallow evenings, my throbbing head,
The voices unheard, the letters unread,
Of my platinum hell;
Beautiful life
I’ve seen thy golden face,
Tanned with smears of prussian blue
Unholy disgrace…
And again the silent night screams at me
To go back to the day
To the unkept promises
Made by me
Meant for me ,
Broken by me…
And slowly the tingling grows louder,
Till it’s a blast of icy fire
Painful orgasm
Of delicious moments…
My beautiful life,
Don’t make me suffer so
For this purple dream-
I promise I’ll pay back,
But I wont go back
This time …
I promise I’ll pay back
I was; on the doorstep of adolescence
And I cracked our crystal vase.
As I flipped the yellowed pages
Of some tear-blurred ancient novel,
Unread, disliked, thrust away
In some dark dusty corner
Of the shady bookshelf;
Unloved
Did you feel my love?
When I in my cruel bitterness
Shoved you out, from my mind,
From my heart, finally from my memories…
The bitter mornings sat and drank the lees;
Drained its cup to the last wet drop,
Till there remained nothing left to lick
Other than the empty white cup-
The empty hollow shell
Of my life, once a hell-
My hell, of glittery nights, sleepless in my bed;
My hell of drowsy hangovers, of sarcastic rosy threats;
My dark shallow evenings, my throbbing head,
The voices unheard, the letters unread,
Of my platinum hell;
Beautiful life
I’ve seen thy golden face,
Tanned with smears of prussian blue
Unholy disgrace…
And again the silent night screams at me
To go back to the day
To the unkept promises
Made by me
Meant for me ,
Broken by me…
And slowly the tingling grows louder,
Till it’s a blast of icy fire
Painful orgasm
Of delicious moments…
My beautiful life,
Don’t make me suffer so
For this purple dream-
I promise I’ll pay back,
But I wont go back
This time …
I promise I’ll pay back
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