Wow!! God doesn't hate me after all :)

Yes I don't know what I want. I don't know how i feel. The person I trust the least is me myself. But you know what, I 'd take this life any day. I like not knowing what's coming tomorrow. I like knowing that life can't get any worse, its only gonna get better. Some bigshot once said that life is not a destination, its a journey. So I'd rather stretch out my journey as much as I can, because once you are at your goal, where do you go from there?

It really is over.

It’s so cute na.. when you see almost all of life’s aspects falling into predictability. But why do laws fail where we need them most? Why can’t we reason with ourselves? Why is it that the person who expects most from us, is our own selves? Why are we never satisfied? Even when we know we’re living this perfect life and things couldn’t get better than this? What are we all looking for here? Screw happiness, I think all we want is peace with ourselves.

My Epiphany

How can I give up on love? It defines who I am. I’m a nobody without it. I’m not talking about the person. I’m talking about the feeling. I got to believe in it. Even if it doesn’t exist in reality, it must exist for me.

I had a purpose these few days, when I tried to deny love out off my life. Or I thought I had a purpose. But just one text message and one dream was all it took to chuck it all in the bin. It all seems so silly and unbelievably insignificant now.

I can’t actually be falling out of love with you, if it takes so much effort. Why, I barely realized when I fell in love. The reverse can’t be so difficult. Or maybe the reverse doesn’t exist at all.

I was missing you. Then I got this idea from somewhere that it wasn’t you, I was just missing the whole concept of having someone with me all the time. And I made my peace with that one and tried my best to fill that gap. But there were so many hurdles. And the only person creating all those hurdles was just me. Sub-consciously I guess, I never could let go of you.

No matter how much I screw up, stay in my life. Please.

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The moment I think I’ve fallen out of love with you, BAMM!!! You gotta dream-visit me. How typically you! Can’t see me happy, can you? As soon as I’m somewhat over you, you get the tip-off and come back into my life, through a 45seconds long phone-call, or a beautiful happily-ever-after dream. I wonder who works for you. Who pretends to be my friend but still keeps a close watch enough to tell you when he thinks I might be moving on, so that you can come back barely for a minute and disrupt it all. I’m not pissed at you; I’m pissed at him. Or her. Whatever. I’m so fucked up!

*sigh!*

Why can’t it be my birthday everyday? Just had my happiest day in college life so far =D

I feel like a spoiled princess with a pet pony and a sailing boat of my own!